Tuesday, September 22, 2009

First, I have to say that I am beyond grateful to have a healthy baby, and to be healthy myself. I don't forget how much of a blessing it is to be carrying a child, to be able to carry a child, and don't take these beautiful weeks for granted.

The hard part is two-fold. It's hard to be told, with such certainty, that our baby is coming very soon, and to be told that for about two and a half weeks. The other hard part is all the medical intervention we've been going through. I have preeclampsia, so monitoring my urine is a big deal, as is monitoring my blood pressure and taking blood. I've been to labor & delivery a handful of times to be monitored, and sent home every time, no dice.

It's frustrating, sometimes, to think that it's my body doing this. Every now and again it all catches up with me that my body is doing things outside my control. I've been beyond healthy this entire pregnancy and, mistakenly, assumed that'd be enough. It's the strangest thing to be told you're having internal issues when you feel physically fine. Kind of eerie.

We've done every single thing the doctors have told us to do because we love this baby. We are ecstatic that we'll soon meet our teeny love and are so happy s/he's doing well. It's just the mental part that can sometimes catch up to you. I've never had medical intervention in my life. I've never had surgery, except for oral surgery to get out those wisdom teeth; I've never been seriously ill; I've never had anything but routine medical visits. So, you can see how these last few weeks would be quite the shock to me.

I, however, don't forget to count my blessings. I'm thankful baby and I have made it this far; a feat many would wish to accomplish. I'm thankful that once the pregnancy is over so are all these little medical things I've had to do since what I have is solely pregnancy-induced. I'm thankful that the only thing that gets to me (sometimes) are mental issues. I have so much to be thankful for.

There's nothing like sitting there watching your belly move, especially when I'm having a moment about something where I just need that little lift and baby surprises me by having some play time. There's nothing like my husband, who takes amazing care of me since being on bedrest, who comes home after working all day and still asks how he can make me more comfortable. Yep, I have a pretty sweet setup.

What I need to remember is that everything those medical professionals are doing for me is precautionary. Having preeclampsia can turn into something very serious because it effects the liver and can cause seizures, etc. However, thankfully, my labs continue to come back fine, it's just not something you take lightly. Hard to remember, but, more often than not, I do so. Who doesn't have those days where everything just hits them like a ton of bricks?

PHEW...so I've gotten that off my chest. Now, I'm able to get back to the more important thoughts that consume me the other 99% of the time, such as when will baby come? Is baby a boy or a girl? Who does baby look like? What kind of labor will I have? When can I buy that ADORABLE Halloween costume I have picked out? How will our dogs react to baby? Much more fun thoughts and what I spend my baby thoughts on.

I do have a closing remark, though. The next nurse or doctor that gets our hopes up AGAIN about baby "coming soon" will get a punch to the throat.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Full Term!

How far along? 37 weeks!
Total weight gain/loss: No clue, feels like I'm up about 213 lbs, though
Maternity Clothes? Of course
Sleep: L.O.V.E. IT
Best moment of the week: Nurse practitioner said my cervix is starting to thin out!!
Movement: Still frequent, but it's obvious baby has less space in there. When 'they' say baby is the size of a watermelon this week they aren't joking!
Food cravings? None really. I wouldn't mind some french fries, but am going to do without...
Gender: Don't know. As of now, we don't even have a guess anymore
Labor Signs? I've had a few contractions, and I can feel that baby has dropped, but not much else.
Belly button in or out? IN!!!! I do fear the day I sneeze and it pops out, though
What I miss: I still feel like a turd for saying this, but I really can't wait to feel little again. I've never felt so big! I do love being pregnant, though...SWEAR
What I am looking forward to: The start of labor. I'm dying to know if I'll go on my own, or doctors will start it for me. I keep envisioning my water breaking while Gary is at work and I get to call him with the news!
Weekly Wisdom: It's impolite to stare. Would you like to be stared at?
Milestones: FULL TERM!! Baby is mature enough to survive outside the womb. I hope we can hurry up the process, though! We're soo excited!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Oh sh*t, son!

After my last OB appointment, they sent me to Gateway because the protein in my urine was sneaking upward and they wanted to make sure everything was OK. We thought it was going to be crunch time since 2 of the on-call doctors from my OBs office were there and were being informed of my being there. As you can tell, that was not the case!

But, the craziest thing we've ever witnessed did happen. We were walking up to the nurse's station and this nurse pops out of one of the L & D rooms and asks this doctor passing by if he could "deliver a baby real quick"!! So, he runs in there and starts telling her to push and by the time we got into our L&D room a few doors down, we heard the cries of a newborn! We just stood there in the room and stared at each other with smiles that looked like we had slept with hangers in our mouths! It was so intense...and it wasn't even our baby!

This weekend I am officially considered full-term, especially since our baby is the little overachiever and won't wait out the full 40 wks. LET'S DO THIS!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Deer in the headlights

is pretty much the expression on my face right now.

My appointment went well today. We even met a new doctor who rocked our world. This is awesome news seeing as how it's possible that I'm entrusting him with some of my most precious materials.

Up until the appointment, I had been feeling like my mind was just swirling around. Wrapping my head around the fact that I will soon be "mama" is much more intense than any contraction I've felt. Gary and I would talk at length about how we want to tackle parenthood, breastfeeding, how the house will be managed once little one arrives, etc.... I just felt like there was so much to say on the topic. Then, it happens....

The doctor looks at me today and says you have "only a few days left".

This is the point where all words escape you. This is the point where your jaw feels the cool of the tile floor.

Don't get me wrong. I am ecstatic to be meeting our little love very soon. I am beyond excited to hold our baby in my arms. I have gum drops and lollipops dancing around me. But being told, instead of surprised by labor, that you will soon meet your child is like being hit by a Mac truck.

I'm not nervous. I'm not unprepared. I'm not questioning my ability to mother. I'm realizing that as the 9 months of pregnancy go on it doesn't necessarily hit you that you're going to be a parent the way morning sickness hits those who had to endure that. This is a whole other spectrum, in a whole other galaxy.