Tuesday, September 22, 2009

First, I have to say that I am beyond grateful to have a healthy baby, and to be healthy myself. I don't forget how much of a blessing it is to be carrying a child, to be able to carry a child, and don't take these beautiful weeks for granted.

The hard part is two-fold. It's hard to be told, with such certainty, that our baby is coming very soon, and to be told that for about two and a half weeks. The other hard part is all the medical intervention we've been going through. I have preeclampsia, so monitoring my urine is a big deal, as is monitoring my blood pressure and taking blood. I've been to labor & delivery a handful of times to be monitored, and sent home every time, no dice.

It's frustrating, sometimes, to think that it's my body doing this. Every now and again it all catches up with me that my body is doing things outside my control. I've been beyond healthy this entire pregnancy and, mistakenly, assumed that'd be enough. It's the strangest thing to be told you're having internal issues when you feel physically fine. Kind of eerie.

We've done every single thing the doctors have told us to do because we love this baby. We are ecstatic that we'll soon meet our teeny love and are so happy s/he's doing well. It's just the mental part that can sometimes catch up to you. I've never had medical intervention in my life. I've never had surgery, except for oral surgery to get out those wisdom teeth; I've never been seriously ill; I've never had anything but routine medical visits. So, you can see how these last few weeks would be quite the shock to me.

I, however, don't forget to count my blessings. I'm thankful baby and I have made it this far; a feat many would wish to accomplish. I'm thankful that once the pregnancy is over so are all these little medical things I've had to do since what I have is solely pregnancy-induced. I'm thankful that the only thing that gets to me (sometimes) are mental issues. I have so much to be thankful for.

There's nothing like sitting there watching your belly move, especially when I'm having a moment about something where I just need that little lift and baby surprises me by having some play time. There's nothing like my husband, who takes amazing care of me since being on bedrest, who comes home after working all day and still asks how he can make me more comfortable. Yep, I have a pretty sweet setup.

What I need to remember is that everything those medical professionals are doing for me is precautionary. Having preeclampsia can turn into something very serious because it effects the liver and can cause seizures, etc. However, thankfully, my labs continue to come back fine, it's just not something you take lightly. Hard to remember, but, more often than not, I do so. Who doesn't have those days where everything just hits them like a ton of bricks?

PHEW...so I've gotten that off my chest. Now, I'm able to get back to the more important thoughts that consume me the other 99% of the time, such as when will baby come? Is baby a boy or a girl? Who does baby look like? What kind of labor will I have? When can I buy that ADORABLE Halloween costume I have picked out? How will our dogs react to baby? Much more fun thoughts and what I spend my baby thoughts on.

I do have a closing remark, though. The next nurse or doctor that gets our hopes up AGAIN about baby "coming soon" will get a punch to the throat.

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