Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Sleeping Through the Night

On the days I am too tired to put one foot in front of the other, I pray for one full night's rest. My eyes are heavy, & all I want to do is nap all. day. long., but there's something that always creeps into the back of my mind. I know that when his sleeping through the night is more of the rule than the exception I'll miss those times in the wee hours where we spend time in the quiet glow of a Roseanne marathon on Nick at Nite. Jake only wakes once a night, but that 1:30 am feeding is a favorite of mine. He'll fuss, or coo, to let me know he's hungry & when I go into his room to pick him up I gently place my hand on his belly so as to not startle him. The best part is, he's generally facing away from me, but, once he feels my touch, he turns toward me, looks up, & gets a huge smile and lets out a soft, now-I'm-so-comfortable-because-mama-is-here sigh. It brings tears to my eyes now to think about, but, in that moment, I'm too touched to do anything but paste a goofy smile across my face.

It's amazing what he's done for our life. Just a few short weeks ago, I was sleeping 9-10 hours a night, slapping Cocoa Butter with Shea on the belly, & wondering what kind of little babe I was baking. Now, there's this little man swinging a few feet away from me that brings such happiness in the smallest of ways. Watching Jake play with his daddy, or those forehead wrinkles he gets when he's really studying something, or the smiles he gets when he sits up on the couch by himself just turn us into blubbering puddles on the floor.

Gary & I were always incredibly aware of how blessed we are to have found each other, to have a life together. But, now, we're almost in awe of each other. We look at this beautiful little boy that we created, that has such an amazing demeanor, & we talk about the ways to make his life as best it can be. We vow to always show him unconditional love, to help him realize his greatness, to help him know that happiness has everything to do with how you feel & with whom you surround yourself. We want him to grow up to be the person who will defend his actions, fight for his happiness, & to turn the other cheek when appropriate. Life is too short to not make the most of every single day. & that's what we hope to teach him. We will help him to grow into the good, upstanding individual he already is. We're going to help him make the most of his days. Life is too short to not spend every single second as happy as you can be.

So, I guess when the time comes for our little man to get rid of that 1:30am feeding, it'll be time to realize he's well on his way to all those things we hope for him. He's a really great little boy that already makes us so proud. My husband makes me so proud. I am so proud of our family.

I thank God every day that I'm able to wake up happy. That I have incredible people surrounding me. That the man that I love most in the world helped me to create the most amazing little boy. Life is good.

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