Monday, April 12, 2010


Oh how I loathe this word. Unless it preceded "...for our trip to Jamaica" or "...for Christmas in California", like it has before. I have no love for this word.

Gary is deploying in early June. So, naturally, he's told last Thursday to have his bags ready to go this morning. We ran out to Sam's Club to spend $140 in hygiene (since we really have absolutely no means of communication for this deployment at the moment...before we knew there would be phones around, or an internet cafe. There's literally none of this, and no promise of it...that thought alone is enough to bring a tear to my eye).~~Sorry, I tend to write like I did for you haven't read our blog before!

Being given such a short amount of time to gather evvveerryyything, even by Army standards, is sorta difficult. I don't want to say stressful, because we weren't feeling that, but just difficult. As with the previous 2 deployments, there's about 3 billion piles around the house, loosely sorted into taking for sure, not necessary, and meaningful, but where do I put it?! I wish I was able to help more, but I really don't have enough knowledge about the RFI to do any good!

Jake's bedtime ritual starts at 7:30 now, and he's in bed by 8. After, we take care of a few things, grab our laptops, put on a show or movie, and sit on the couch, with my legs across him and we'll chat or have one of those silent conversations...saying all the things we don't want to say out loud more than we have to. But, last night was different. Gary's had a 4 day weekend, to include being off today, but he has to go in for a couple hours to turn in his many many A-bags. I stared at the side of my hubby's face, as he rubbed my calves in that way that can easily put me to sleep, and thought how soon that spot on the couch will be vacant. Sounds like I'm a masochist, huh? I'm really not, just trying to prepare myself, as if that's possible!, for the next year.

I try so hard to not take things for granted. I think I do a pretty good job. Life doesn't always allow for constant gratitude, but I'd say we do a pretty good job of being aware that we live on a clock and that since being apart is pure torture, we make the most of now. Carpe diem! :)

We have J's first baseball game this weekend (I come from a diehard baseball family....I'm pretty sure I bleed Dodger Blue!), then we're getting to the Nashville Zoo, the Grand Ole Opry, the park for a picnic, and other things I can't remember, in the next few weeks. I'm sooo grateful Gary is here to see Jake roll over, that he's around when Jake turned 6 months since that's when babies start to attach to their parents, that he'll (most likely!) be able to see Jake crawl or scoot. It's so great that Gary can see Jake go through these milestones, but it also makes us closer, when I didn't really think that was possible. When Jake gets that belly laugh goin', or decides to roll back and forth like a fish out of water, we'll reach for each others hands in total parental pride. But, it kind of serves as a scrapbook for our life. We went to proms together, saw each other graduate, waved "see ya later" when he left for MEPS, got married, had a baby...pretty much anything Hallmark has a card for we did together.

When I was in the FRG :::rolls eyes:::, I learned a lot about what goes on "behind the scenes". When the FRG used to actually call, rather than send a recorded message, I was a part of it. I called women to make sure they were doing well. I helped one wife, who was Japanese, and had a lot of trouble communicating. I helped another wife finalize things for buying a house. It felt good. And, I loved when Gary would call from Iraq and say that all these husbands were telling him how much I helped their wives. Deployments are stressful, any help makes a difference. Now, I know that in the next few weeks I'll be getting recorded messages with "pertinent" information. It's just so impersonal. I know making phone calls can be done once or twice a month..I hope they go back to that. For me, and sooo many other wives, this ain't our first rodeo. Been there, done that. All we, or I know that 'I', want is some friendly voice to ask what's going on in our world, and how they can make it better. I remember one time there was a cookie baking party to send our men decorated cookies for Christmas. So much fun! But, this time, we don't even have a mailing address. FRICK FRICK FRICK FRICK....This part of Afghanistan, which hasn't seen any units, is really trying to ruin my day! Luckily, Jake's grammy and grandpa are probably coming out next month, Uncle Kevin and Casey in June, Jake and I are going to Cali in August to have his first birthday party...thankfully, our dance card is filled up. Now, it's just that pesky sleeping alone thing to deal with....

We still have time, and I thank God for that. So, before our little man wakes up from his nap, and my big man wakes up from his!, I'm going to make sure every second of our conscious time together is spent making memories.

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