So, I'm watching one of our favorite shows, Friday Night Lights, & you hear the obligatory sentences between a brother & a sister, '...don't tell mom'
Between the 4 of us kids, we muttered those words countless times. You always had that worry in your head, what if they're that mad and they do tell? It's like they hold your life in their hands! Good thing, at such a young age, you don't realize what kind of power you have!
But, you all get a little older & realize that not "telling mom" isn't so much an act of leniency, or a bargaining chip by a sibling, but a code. One that is not to be broken.
Whether the "secret" is between 2 siblings, or kept among all siblings, that's where the vital info is kept...only between them. Sometimes, it's big news, sometimes it's just little stuff you don't want your parents to know. Either way, it's not something you blab.
I love that my brothers & I did this. I love that even now, we'll talk about stuff with the mentality that it's safe. I can't wait for mine & Gary's kids to have that, to lean on each other that way. That's how it should be.
Then, it gets better! Because, as you add to the family (siblings start to marry), those people get added to your little club <3 I think, all the time, how my parents must be pretty proud of the fact that all FIVE of us are so tight :)
One of the big parenting issues, if you will, for us is to always have that open relationship. Not to say "You can always come to us", but to actually live it. Sometimes, you'll encounter that a parent says that phrase & then flips out over...spilled milk :)There are few things we want more than for our kids to know that we are actually aware that we were once kids, too. That we faced similar obstacles, went through changes, & wondered about the same things. They won't be perfect (which will be sad since us, as parents? We're totally perfect :D), and there's no way we can expect them to be.
As open a relationship as we anticipate, and will convey to them, our kids will never tell us everything, but it is our hope that they turn to each other with the things they're not telling us. There's definitely a pride to be found within something like that! You protect your own; it's just what you do.
Plus, they won't know 'til they have kids, but parents will totally focus more on the fact that their kids stuck together through something, bit the dust together, than what the actual "crime" was.
Ahh, the things you wish you knew....