Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Thought you'd like to see this

I was in the middle of blogging about the great story that are my in-laws, when I received these messages.

I wrote a message to one of Gary's cousins, who I am NOT friends with on FB, to clear the air. I am so sick of them dragging our name through the mud for SO LONG. We've turned the other cheek, we've ignored instigation, we've done everything we can. For 8 years. Now, I felt it was time to speak up. You can only take so many beatings before it's time to step up. After all, that's what I'd like to teach Jake. I don't want anyone to ever treat him the way we get treated.

A tiny bit more backstory....
The fb message from the mother in law, that started all this, was replied to by one of Gary's cousins. So, I write her to just say 'hey, there are 2 "sides" to everything'. You have no clue how badly I want them to leave us alone, how badly I want us to never come in contact with them again. It takes SO MUCH for me to retort in situations like these. I don't feel it necessary to engage people with nothing else better to do. WE don't feel it necessary. But, I've come to a head today. It needs to stop.

What's worse is that so many of you tell me, repeatedly, what a happy, uplifting blog we have. That you've cried reading it. That's what I like. I like talking about real stuff, but we try to keep our chins up, to see the good. I hope you can take these couple ugly posts and realize that I just needed to get this off my chest. It won't change who we are, but it needs to be shown what we deal with.

Without further ado, here's what we deal with in private, while publicly they use their words:

(I've taken letters out of certain words, so as to soften the blow)

What I wrote to one of Gary's cousins, Caitlen:

Just like I messaged your sister, unfortunately I was alerted to "her" FB status.

You have no clue the amazing, and quite sizable, loads of BS we've been dealt from *them*. You have no clue the things they've said to us. You, probably, do have a clue that they manipulate personal emails to send to members of the family that are not involved. What K-L-A-S-S.

Do you know we're dead to them? Nearly VERBATIM what she said to us in an email. Nope, you wouldn't know. We don't air our issues with others publicly. We retain more self-respect than that. But, the sun has set on the high-road-taking. Time for us to start *defending* (Seriously, the need to use that word just made me vomit. Oh, hai, I'm 25, and out of high school...) our names.

I'm so sick of them just spreading inappropriate things about us; all the while, twisting said things to fit their "victim" persona. We've kept quiet in the hopes of turning the other cheek, that it'll just blow over. Apparently, they don't have enough respect for my husband (respect for me? You've got to be kidding. I've only been a sole caregiver to our son since super deployment #3 started. No big deal) to end it. To end the games and the name-dropping. My mom said she'd be banging down our door if she were the one in that woman's place. But, my mom cares about the relationship, not the "winner". And, it should probably be noted, Gary refers to my mom as his "mom", and the same for my dad. They both refer to him as their "son".

We're not hostile, angry, or grudge-holders. We just want to be happy. Do you know how many people have joked that our family is "weird", because we're actually happy?

We have a son to model ourselves for. We want to be nothing but perfect for him. We're not out to keep drama (gag...HATE THAT WORD) going. As you can tell, since you never hear our side of things.

We've always tried to stay positive in that they'd just give it a rest, but they don't. And, it's not even like their tireless efforts for the rebuilding of a relationship are being shot down; what's being responded to are their continuing efforts to seem like nothing but victims.

I didn't write it all smiles and sunshine, but I did hope that it would spark conversation, that might lead to the positive. I thought it would help sort out this crap to show that Gary & I are not the bad people they continually refer to us as.

However, this is the response I received

Caitlin Hansen July 20 at 9:26pm Report

Samantha, don't ever message me again. You're a disgusting waste of space who's tainted the mind of a good cousin.

I hope you rot in hell, you vicious little c**t.

Samantha Chilton LaMay July 20 at 9:33pm

Wow, way to prove my point.

Guess it's impossible to have a battle of the wits with an unarmed person

Caitlin Hansen July 20 at 9:40pm Report

Listen you dripping c**t drop, the good part of that family I have contact with. If Gary wants to be a little bitch and act like this to his good family, that's one less asshole I will have in my life.

Go fuck yourself and don't ever fucking message me again. You're not dead to me, Samantha, but that's only because something as inhuman as you probably wont die.


Samantha Chilton LaMay July 20 at 9:43pm

Good one?

Caitlin Hansen
July 20 at 9:43pm Report
You just don't know how to shut the fuck up, do you? You don't want drama? Keep messaging me. You have no fucking idea how much fucking drama I can bring to your fucking life.


I hope this more than shows what we get in private. All I wanted was to speak up for us; for us to stop, continually, being walked all over. Hindsight, I should have realized that these people don't matter in the grand scheme of things, but, in my true fashion, I want everyone to get along; I thought I could get that intelligent conversation about this whole thing going, so that Gary & I can stop being bothered by these people. Guess I've learned that lesson for sure this time.

I want people to see us for the good, happy people we are, but I guess people will see what they want. Especially, the super articulate ones.


Maytina said...

I can't get too into it, but man oh man I've been there. :( Wash your hands little mama, it's just not worth it. <3

You an Gary and Jake are an amazing family and i have no doubt there will be more sweet precious LaMay's in the future for you, coming into this wonderful happy family. The stress and heartache that good people (ie you) suffer at the words of weird prime-time drama is total BS.

Casey said...

I thoroughly enjoy how every other word out of this woman's finger tips is an obscenity. Classy much? Maybe she should learn how to use her words. Just because you can say fuck and c**t doesn't make you some kind of argumentative genius. Obviously. I am most "impressed" with the "GO FUCK YOUR C**T" comment. First thing first, how is this really some kind of insult? I mean, think about this one. If she just had the ability to form a decent sentence this could have turned into one of the more "intuitive" things that she said (as if any of this had any sort of intuitive thinking involved to begin with).
Samantha, I am sorry that you are having to put up with ANY of this. You don't deserve this at all. You are a wonderful person (not to mention a great mamma) and you have a wonderful family to top it all off. Don't let these people tell you any different. Personally I know how upset I would be if my son didn't want to have anything to do with me, but can you blame him? Who would want to have anything to do with someone who can blatantly bash someone they love? That just isn't right. More power to you and Gary! Good news, Jake will never have to deal with this kind of thing. : ) Keep your head up lady, you've got all of us with you on this one. She can't possibly email all of us, even if she decided to print them out to make things easier.;)Keep up the good work mamma bear!

Daily Dose of Dahl said...

Whoa! Fairly new reader to your blog, and I started out thinking - wow! Someone else has my in laws too. What a relief that I'm not alone. But then I finished your post and girl? Holy Hannah Montana! That is just....wow.

I can imagine how much you are angry, hurting, frustrated, and exhausted with all of this, but it's never going to get better.

My advice? Disown 'em all. Delete 'em from FB, block their emails. It's a cross between blackmail and bullying. And? It sucks!

Hugs to you. I hope you can just put it behind you and move on.