Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I flew with a baby.

and dominated.

I was so nervous in the months weeks leading up to us leaving. Soo nervous.

In the last weekend before we left, I had lists all over our kitchen counters. I had everything I could pack packed. I seriously considered buying double of everything I needed so I could just be packed, while being able to use the stuff I still needed around here. I had laundry done. The house was cleaned. My fabulous friend, Kristen, was helping me out with a few things around the house while we were away. The diaper bag had disposables, snacks, and Jake's favorite books/toys.

My game face was on.

On the day of said departure, I set my alarm for 6am, so I could be showered and ready by the time Jake got up. I showered, he got up, I fed him, got dressed, packed up the Journey with luggage and dogs. We even got out of the house a half hour ahead of time.

I was a well-oiled machine!

But, as we finally got on the road, I realized I wasn't so nervous anymore. I dropped off the dogs, at the boarding place, on the way, picked up a breakfast sandwich and soda, and we were on our way!

We parked in economy. I had Jake in the mei-tai, the diaper bag as my carry-on, and our suitcase ready to be checked.

I was pretty much unstoppable.

We found a spot in the parking lot relatively easily, the economy shuttle came quickly, we got through security more easily than I ever got through when it was just me, and I was even able to breastfeed at a secluded spot of the airport before we took off. I can't lie and say I didn't pat myself on the back a time or two. Hey, if I don't, who's gonna?? Riddle me that.

The one thing that I wasn't super thrilled about was that the flight was not only completely booked, but overbooked. The counter lady must have temporarily lost her marbles because she actually called me up, the mama flying solo with her tater tot, to ask if we'd switch flights. Umm, I thought about this flight 117,000 ways from Sunday, to make it as smooth as possible and, all of a sudden, I'm supposed to change. Sure, I can do that. If you want to see me implode.

So, I said hell to the no as politely as possible, and got ready to board.

On the plane, you could tell everyone wanted to avoid sitting with "the baby" (dun dun dun), but we were in good spirits nonetheless. We got a window seat, per one of the tips I received (thank you!), and sat next to a man and woman, who appeared to be business people. When they sat down I could see the Ahh-crap-I'm-stuck-next-to-the-baby looks on their faces. I did appreciate that they tried to mask it, but they weren't super excited.

As we took off, Jake was soo excited! He was munching on Gerber graduate puffs, and the organic Gerber drink, while staring out the window. You couldn't even tell he was on a plane! I guess I'll spare you every single detail, but my favorite was when we were landing in Chicago. As we were hovering above the runway, our business-people-neighbors simultaneously stared at Jake, waiting for the shrieks of landing, ear-popping, etc.

Jake laughed.

We were landing, roughly, and my kid was laughing.

The businessman looked at me and said "If I had an award to give you I would. That is the best behaved baby I've ever seen on a flight, and I fly a lot. You have a blessing in your lap right there". Then he teased me about my Boston hat, since he's a Yankee fan. There's no accounting for taste, but I was still very touched at his nice words ;-)

When we got off in LA, which was our final stop, everyone was saying "He did so well!!" Then, he showed off that smile, totally working the crowd, and solidified his reputation as awesomesauce.

My mom and one of my brothers picked us up and asked how the flight went, after the we-see-Jake shrieks!, passersby on our flight answered for us. "There's the perfect baby! He did so well!"

My mama pride was overflowing.

We had 2 flights on the way back also. The first one had 43 people on it! So, we had no problem getting the seats we wanted. The second flight, taking us into Nashville, was P-A-C-K-E-D. The lady next to me was, quite literally, sitting on my lap. I was squished. Then, Jake, accidentally, hit the chair of the guy in front me a few times, and he looked back at me like I was scum of the earth. I apologized saying I was doing the best I could, but man, people rallied for us. Everyone started hating on him, and giving me that you're ok smile. The guy even had his seat all the way reclined. Umm, is your logic out to lunch?? But, I had 2 ladies, with serious attitude, next to us who were totally backing us, along with everyone else around us. It was very West Side Story ;-)

:::snap snap snap:::

Jake did have some trouble on the last flight. He fought sleep as hard as he could. I had to bite the bullet and hold him close, so that he'd finally give in. He did. He slept all but about 45 minutes of the last flight.

So, I've compiled some tips and tricks for air travel with a wee one:

*Sit in the back of the plane. Someone commented and told me to do this for the noise level, which is great!, but I was more concerned with Jake being the stereotypical baby on a plane and disturbing everyone. I wanted to be able to move around, if need be, without it having some sort of impact on the masses. Plus, it's close to the john.

*Use the pocket on the back of the seat in front of you. Get on the plane as early as possible, so you can have a chance to set up. Take out your most important toys/books, put juice in your sippy cup, take out your snacks and put them all in that pocket for easy access. I went into that pocket about 145 times.

*Don't worry about others. I try so hard to not be rude/disrespectful to others, but what I mean is, don't spazz out if your kid's not having it. When Jake fought sleep for an itty bit, people weren't freaking out and giving dirty looks. It's true that people are, generally, understanding if you're trying. I wasn't just sitting there letting him go buck wild (even though he wasn't screaming, just being fussy). I was giving him juice, snacks, playing with his book. At the end of the day, he was just tired. People were so understanding, though. It'll be ok!

*Get a flight with layovers. OK, I get antsy during flights. I could not imagine trying to coop Jake up for a 4.5 hour flight. During layovers, I'd breastfeed, change his diaper, stretch my legs, check out all the goings-on of the airport. It's all a welcome distraction. By the time you're on your next flight, bebeh has forgotten they're getting back on a plane!

*Don't be afraid to ask for help. On the way out there, from Chicago to LA, I HAD to breastfeed him. It was a whole time crunch issue, but the flight attendant held her coat up to block my booby as long as I needed her to. I must have thanked her a million times. But, just don't think you have to go it completely alone.

*I didn't know this until the day before we left, but, if you're flying with a your little nugget and not buying a ticket for him/her, TAKE A COPY OF THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE. They need to verify baby's under 2, otherwise they'll charge for them. Also, when I bought the ticket, I didn't (since I didn't know how!) note that I was traveling with our babe because I wasn't buying him a seat, so I figured it didn't matter. It does.

*I could not have imagined pushing a stroller. I had Jake in the mei-tai (on my front, for those wondering), the diaper bag on my shoulder, and pulling the suitcase. As much as I wanted to take the jogging stroller, I have no clue how I would have been able to get on the parking lot shuttle, or just walk in general, pulling a suitcase AND pushing a stroller. I strongly suggest strapping that kid to you somehow. Or enlighten me as to how to work the stroller-suitcase combo!

*One of my favorite parts was going back to disposables for the length of the trip. That way I didn't have another 22 diapers to take with me, along with the cloth wipes, keep track of them while in California, then wash them again when we got back. It was nice to breathe a sigh of relief seeing the diapers and wipes all stacked clean and purty in Jake's changing table.

Ok, this post is long enough, but I think those are my most important pearls of wisdom (you know I have so many! :D).


Monday, August 23, 2010

Leave of Absence

We're going to California for a week!!

[Incidentally, SUCK ON THAT, DEPLOYMENT!!]

I'm going to try to blog about all the fab shiz we're going to be up to while we're there, but it probably won't happen. People to see, places to be. You know how it goes.

Soo excited!! Jake gets to see where his mama and daddy got started. Who doesn't get a big, fat set of the warm-fuzzies for that one?!

But, one sad thing; no slumber party, with my adult onesie...I can't fit my breast pump in with all the crap we're bringing, and little J nurses right when he gets up. Shucks. Wait, we'll have half a slumber party!! I can come back to the parental's casa on the later side, rather than the morning!

Thanks for the think-tank, friends!

Anywho, we are so ready for the airport . Of course, until we get on the road, and start heading toward the airport, I'll be in a continued state of panic-attack suppression, but it'll be fine! Ain't no thang.

Off to put my toes in the water, and ass in the sand.

Talk to you soon!!

Friday, August 20, 2010

Sexual Deprivation

Tonight, a friend of mine had the pleasure of hearing someone she knows talking to her boyfriend on the phone, as she strolled through Walmart. Oh, wait, I neglected to mention....SHE HAS A DEPLOYED HUSBAND.

This absolutely disgusts me.

I'm not trying to claim that all the soldiers overseas are angels. But, the only perspective I know is that of the Army wife. We all, more or less, go through very similar things. And, I can speak for what we don't get.

We are sexually deprived.

There's that "motto" (I guess...not sure what else I'd call it!) sexually deprived for your freedom. Typically seen it used by the wives back home, but, I guess, I'm realizing it can fit the guys, too. Either way, it's the effing truth. And, it blows (I'm starting to realize all the kinds of pun-fun I can have with this particular writing!!...).

No one is excited about this particular part of deployment, but, unless you're a skankosaurus, or a slore (slut+whore....doiy), you deal with it. Bottom line. There's no way around it. It's the cherry on top of your crap sundae, but, it's a fact of life. Then, he comes home on leave, and you lock yourselves in the house for 2 weeks, and make up for time lost.

The stories I've/we've heard are out of control. A good friend of mine, Cristal, has said that her and her husband would be out having beers in their garage late at night and see guys sneaking in and out of houses. Or, she'd be introduced to the "uncle" of her neighbor's kids at the commissary.

This is gross! Can they, seriously, not keep it in their pants?? My husband and me? I can't say that our hormones are unlike that of teenagers, but I can, and proudly do, say that our love, our marriage, our family comes leaps and bounds before any physical needs we may have.

How does one even mull over the idea of cheatsville? Do you think they sit at home on Saturday night, the kids in bed, and they leisurely drum their fingers across the table thinking "My bed is quite boring. Perhaps I will have some extramaritals, then call it a night"?

Cristal has also enlightened me to the fact that guys back home, either between deployments or on Rear D, can spot a woman with an overseas husband a mile away. I had no clue that this sixth-sense phenomena existed. These guys are trolling for lonely women?! I mean, really. Go spend some time in the bathroom...

During the second deployment, someone was especially forward with me, a couple different times. My mom thought about sending out the oldest of my brothers, Kevin, to stay until things settled down. But, could you even imagine that? Army wives don't always have the cleanest reputation, so having the neighbors see another man going in and out of our house would have driven them to such delusions about me. I am no slore, my friends.

I am effing sexually deprived.

((Also...the "especially forward" incident was taken care of, for those that don't know. I called the MPs, Rear D command came out, Gary's stateside friends came over to assure me no pervy perverson would get to me unscathed. :::clink clink::: Hear that, horn dogs?? That's me knocking on my deployment chastity belt))

Wait, I just realized something! An epiphany, if you will. There's a sex shop across the street from post. Umm, skankster wives, or those thinking of leaning to the side of skankville, I'd like to suggest picking up something of the phallic persuasion, buying some batteries, and KEEPING TO YOURSELF. I imagine that won't satisfy all the urges a sexual encounter can, but it could make due for the time being. Do what you gotta do. Hey, who am I to judge?

Whether you go the path of the dry spell, or have lots of alone time, why put yourself in the situation where something could happen? Cheese and rice, be smart while you're alone!

Today, for instance, J (I will not use his nickname given the context of this post. Grody) and I ran to Walmart to pick up a few things for our Cali trip (MONDAY!!!). I was in the back seat, getting Jake out, when two guys spotted me. I had my sunglasses on, so I was all I see you trackin' me with your lonely-wife-radar. As luck would have it, they parked a couple spots over. Using my superior spy skills, vis รก vis my big ol' sunglasses, I noticed when one nodded to the other to look my direction. I wanted to be all So, I know my maxi dress is super cute, and my hair looks pretty good, but it's 110* and I'm sweating like a pig. Just how desperate are you?? [p to the s...I kid about fabulosity. I felt that should be said. Love ya, dahlings!]

But, they lingered. And I sighed. Jake laughed. But, I HAD TO keep out of that situation. Not like there's any issue on my end, but they were thinking with their pants, and I have to be doubley (not entirely sure how that would should be spelled. And, for the life of me. I'm trying to wrap up this post, so I WILL NOT google) careful since I can't call my giant husband to come to my rescue. So, I close the door, take J out of his seat, to check out the exciting headrest of the driver's seat, and wait. They moved at about the speed of molasses, but finally left and we did our shopping.


I know it's no fun. I know the loins, they burnin'. But, deal with it. Staple that marriage certificate to yo' forehead, and realize the horizontal tango...it's only a dream at this point.

This post? Brought to you by Whitney, and the number 13.
(I saw a lot of Sesame Street toys today)

Ni-night, girly...keep those eyes peeled for more blog-inspiration... :-)

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

"Go ahead and give me the epidural, NOW"

With our baby boy's first birthday right around the corner, and his first birthday party even sooner!!!!!!!!!!!! (seriously, I'm so excited, I have trouble falling asleep at night! Ok, to be fair, "trouble" to me equates to taking an extra 20 minutes to fall asleep. I sleep like the dead. But, I digress....), I've been thinking about what I was feeling one year ago, and what we were gearing up for one year ago.

Last night, Erin and I got to talking about our respective hospital staffs, pitocin, epidurals, labor...Ya know, the usual. It reminded me of talking to my mom when I was hard at work baking that blueberry-sized bebeh, (this phone call we could actually talk about the pregnancy. The first phone call after she found out? She may, or may not have, been an excited/light crying spectacle of a woman. Maybe.) and I remember saying "They should go ahead and give me the epidural now"

Oh, how I meant that. I'm not sure why people like to do this, but, when you're about to go through something they've already gone through, people like to make things sound awful. Have you ever noticed that? I mean, it only happens with, like, specific people, but still, who has this as a pastime?? Anyway, I had heard a few awful stories in my few weeks of being pregnant. Everyone I talked to ended up trucking through the snow, uphill, both ways, without shoes, in labor, while hitchhiking to get to their hospital. So, naturally, I thought if I can't numb myself from the mountain of unsolicited stories/"advice" I'll be getting from "the randoms" (This is my love-term for those who hear you're pregnant, and then dive into telling you all about them, their experience, and what you should do. When all you said was "Yes, I'll have fries with that"), why not numb the physical sensations?!

As I finally started showing, my mind started changing about a lot of things. I developed this "mama's intuition"; suddenly, I could tell, just by looking, who would be the Debbie Downer of pregnancy talk. I steered clear of them! But, my mind was also changing about how I'd handle labor. I no longer wanted to ask for an epidural as soon as I slipped into that hospital gown. I began looking at labor & delivery as an experience, rather than an ordeal. Even though there are some out there who didn't like hearing that I felt great during pregnancy, it was true. My body was capable of handling this, and I would let it. That's what it's built to do.

Thankfully, I had a great group of people around me, and the most supportive husband EVAH (love you, babe!). I had complete confidence in our plan. We had our favorite comedians downloaded to the laptop, Gary and I had practiced the breathing techniques, and we both knew I had hit crazytown when I said....."I want to go natural".

But, I did. I had worked out until 30 weeks, when they told me to stop. I believed my mind was strong enough to take me out of the pain, that I could breathe my way through. Gary supported me 100%. It was so on.

But, when, after 12 hours of pitocin contractions, I hadn't dilated past 2 or 3, I gave in and got the epidural. Oh, but let me tell you, it was an ordeal to make that decision! I quietly handled my contractions, held Gary's hand, squeaked out a laugh or two when the comedians were playing, but my body was getting tired. Pain wasn't the issue; it was the fact that my contractions were right on top of each other, so I got no rest. If I had been dilating, I would have went for it. But, really? I'm no masochist. I have no desire to sit in discomfort that long for no reason!

Gary assured me he was so proud of me (especially after I told him that, when he was home checking on the dogs, I heard a woman down the hall SCREAMING like she was being ripped in two. I thought "Awesome"), so I got all numbed-up. Oh, how I can still remember shedding tears over that decision.

Either way, we got one beautiful baby boy out of it, who's about to turn one!!

And, for your viewing pleasure, here's me, one year ago, at 33 weeks:
Isn't that Old Navy top adorable?! I wish I could wear it now, if it didn't look like a freakish circus tent.
Also? Old Navy, puhlease sponsor my next pregnancy.

Friday, August 13, 2010

The Screamer

So, the other day Jake and I are at Target. Pretty much as soon as we walk in, we can hear this kid screaming. Not like "hey, mom. I'd like to show you that I really want this ___" It's like "I will scream my loudest scream EVAH, without pause, until you give me some attention"

When Jake first heard it, his eyes got all big and I could just see him thinking what is going on here?! I thought that it really sucks for the mama. No mama wants that! Occupational hazard, I suppose...

I was really feeling compassion for that mama. There she is, trying to pick up what she needs, and her kid's not having it. And, on top of everything, she's going to start getting the look from other customers.

But, after 10 minutes of that scream without a sighting of a mama abandoning her cart, pulling her hair out, and running out of the store, with her kid thrown over her shoulder, I began to wonder what exactly was going on?

Jake and I were in the card section, him sitting in the front of the cart. This mama with 2 daughters comes running over, cutting me off, to get to the lady standing nearby. I gather that this is the girls' grandma. The mama says "We have GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE. I can't take it anymore!" Then, she starts looking at me, to include me in their conversation.

I ask, "Is the mom not doing anything?" All 3 of them chime in "No! She's not doing anything, or saying anything. She's just ....shopping!!" We gave each other that look. The one that say nuh-uh, not cool. If you had heard that degree of screaming, you'd wonder whiskey.tango.foxtrot., too! Then? They all, just about in unison, start talking to Jake "Ohh, you're such a good baby!!" Which, of course, he turns on that megawatt smile of his, "What's his name? Jake! Love it, what a good boy! Thank you for being such a good boy!!"

The mom further explains "It's not the kid I want to smack...It's the mother!" Which, I can understand. The kid, who had to be around 3, is only doing as much as they can get away with. It's not their fault....although, I wasn't harboring especially fuzzy feelings for him at that point!

We heard that scream almost the entire time we strolled through Target. And, to be clear, we were in no rush.

I think what bothers most, well...I know this is how we feel, a screaming baby doesn't bother us (although, it's not our favorite, either), it's when the parent(s) is doing absolutely nothing constructive to rectify the situation. Because, after a certain point, it becomes more rude to others, than it is just your problem!

It was hysterical, though, watching Jake give the side-eye, whenever we got close to "the screamer". Oh, the innocence, you just don't have to hide anything!

We definitely understand that you can't always "control" how your kid is going to act, but you can give it the old college-try.

Or, start handing out stiff drinks

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

A forever friend

Actually, I mean forever friendS, but I didn't think it rolled off the tongue in quite the same way...

There are 2 chickita bananas in my life that I think deserve shout-outs, some mad props if you will, for their amazing "being-there" power they've shown recently. Not to snub the rest of you lovelies who support me, and my family, in super-fab ways; we definitely appreciate it!

Well, I think I've, effectively, worked myself into a corner there, so I'm just going to get to it!

Amber, my dear friend, Amber. I could not love you more! We met in the 3rd grade; she was my first friend when we moved to the sprawling metropolis that is Hesperia, CA. We both had Mr. Holmes, at Juniper Elementary.

Post elementary/middle school, we, sort of, lost touch, like friends do sometimes. Just happens. But, we reconnected on FB, and she has proved to be just as reliable and sweet as she was when we had all sorts of intact innocence.

She'd send me FB messages that include sentences like this one: "I feel for you. You're so strong. You and Jake will beat this deployment", or texts that say "I was thinking about you today. You should know you're beautiful, smart, funny, and a great wife, and mama to Jake"

Seriously?! What kind of amazing person does this?? And, then? She says "no need to reply. Just letting you know some facts :)"


Not only are those words so incredibly sweet and heartfelt in their own right, she's a woman saying them to another woman. That's practically a Ripley's-worthy phenomena!

Anyone that knows me knows that the simplest, smallest gesture has a profound affect on me, so words like that? If I wasn't so touched she'd think to send me messages like that, I would have cried my eyes out!!

((When I sent you that message, saying "I love you like I did in the 3rd grade"....I really meant it!!))

My #2 nominee for the awesomesauce is my buddy, Erin. First, this is what she does for me:

My first Army Wife care package!!

I've always sent these to Gary during deployments, but I had never thought about receiving one! When I saw it in the mail box, I squealed!!! I was soo excited! And, it's not really about what the items are, even though they are bomb-diggity!, it's just about her taking the time out to send me such things!! Thank you again!!

But, Erin gets it. She's an Army Wife, too. She gets it when you hit a day where every other word NEEDS to be an f-bomb. Or the days where some sort of environmental cleanup needs to take place to handle your tears, she's been there. I appreciate her because I know she knows who I am, regardless if I have a bad day or not. She's a true friend; through thick and thin. Also? I have the sneaking suspicion I could have 8 days of so-many-tears-you-need-an-Ark-in-our-house, and she still wouldn't stray, or think I'm a freak show. Let's hope I don't cross that bridge (Ark, bridge, tears...oh man...PUN CITY) :-) I totally won't, but it's nice to know I could! ;-)

Anywho, girlies, I really am so thankful for what you've done for me! You be awesome.

Also? Erin,




That is all. My small way of giving back ;-)

Monday, August 9, 2010

I run a truck stop

While Colin was here this past week, I also got to play hostess to some of Gary's peeps, that I heart so much I think of them as mine anyway! They were passing through on a PCS'ing journey (I heard that "Aww", with the sadface, from all my military readers!); moving from California to North Carolina. Quite literally, coast to coast.

((Cousin Millie's living every girl's dream; living out of suitcase for two weeks....))

Roll call went like this: Gary's cousin, Millie, her husband, Joe (the Marine who's PCS'ing), their daughter, Madison, and her parents, Julie & Willis. I loved seeing a basketball team's worth of people walking through our front door!

Jake would have met everyone but Millie for the first time, but she called 'dibs'; therefore, creating a force-field around her & Jake in which no man could penetrate. He did find his way into Aunt Julie's arms, which he loved, but that was short-lived. Can you blame her? I mean, c'mon...
He is so comfortable with her <3
(Oh, and I'm also noticing how good I am at hanging pictures. I never measure, I just eyeball-it. Seriously, look at how straight that is)

with cousin Madison <3

I just love these people. Ya know how when certain people come into your house, you don't feel comfortable? Like, you, your house, your very existence is being judged?? (Also? I'd like to take a quick poll---how many of you answered yes to those last questions, with 'the judger' being your MIL? Just curious...) Well, that ain't the case with these people. I feel so comfy, like I see them every day. I'd like to compare them to your favorite pair of jeans, or the way it feels to stay home in warm 'jammies on a brisk Fall day. They hug, they talk, they inquire as to how your life is going! Even with Colin here, who they haven't been around very much, it was like they always had. They didn't ignore him, or shut him out. I just love them!

They brought some gifts for Jake and myself, but, since Aunt Julie wasn't sure what to get Colin, she gave him some money and a hug :-) I thought that was soo sweet! I think the best part of that gift was that she acknowledged him at all! He already liked all of 'em, but that little move really touched him :-)


We all headed out for a nice meal at thee southern staple: Cracker Barrel. Can I just say, again, how much I love them? Everyone was chatting, laughing, enjoying super tasty food...it was a great time.

But, Madison and I are the ones that really know how to rock some socks:Be jealous...

Unfortunately, they had to get back on the road, but it was so nice to see you guys!!! Plus, it's nice when you don't see family all the time and they STILL give you the warm-fuzzies! Love you guys!!

Umm, M-dizzle, you're, officially, one state over. I feel we may see each other so much we'll actually get sick of each other!! But, really...you won't. I'm a hoot.

Saturday, August 7, 2010


Well, hellooo there, dahlings! Long time no see! Didja miss me the way I missed y'all?! :-)

Because my dad called me one morning, after I had spent some time crumpled on the floor of our bedroom, like an old workout sock, crying my effing head off (I really know how to paint a picture, huh?!) from the joys of this effing deployment, my youngest brother, Colin, was sent out to the rescue!

And, rescue he did. He's 13, going on 30 14. He's also the youngest of 4, with 2 strong older brothers-that have no problem delivering a beating series of love-taps, and a sister that is bar-none (duh). This kid can hang with the best of 'em. Is anyone starting to form some ideas as to the individuality and beyond-his-years sarcasm/humor that must arise from this kid?!

Here are a few pieces of dialogue that particularly stand out to me:

Me-"Are you loving that you have Jake all to yourself?"

Colin- "YESSS!! That kid is
totes magotes awesome!"

[After going under an overpass]Colin-"If I was up there, I'd mess with people so bad. I'd throw water balloons on their windshields"
Me- "That's messed up!"

Colin- [very matter of factly] "Oh, Sam. You need to learn to live a little"

Me- "I can't believe I'll be in California in 2 weeks! If Casey's there, I hope she'll come out with me, Laura [cousin], and some friends!"
Colin- "Why? So you can drink margaritas and dirty dance?"

[Colin puts the Boppy, breastfeeding pillow, on his head]Me- "You look like Queen Amidala"

Colin- "What if I have 5 dolla's?"

This kid cracked me up from the minute he got here, to the minute he left! Ahh, to be 13!

I officially rock, though, as a sister/host. You should all be aware. We did all the things Colin wanted, such as hit the pool and try Gigi's, but I also made him good southern stuff; biscuits n' gravy, blueberry & chocolate chip muffins, bacon & eggs, chocolate chip pancakes... Poor kid. If he didn't know how to politely decline, I probably would have stuffed him 'til he looked like a weeble. I LOVE COOKING! Let's be clear. I love cooking, FOR OTHER PEOPLE.

Anywho, Colin & Jake were like peas and carrots. As soon as Jake saw Colin, in the airport, he got the biggest smile on his face and was kicking like crazy! From then on, they hardly left each others sides.Colin also became quite proficient in changing diapers, & dressing our little bebeh! Of course, I had to take care of the poo....

Colin- "Sam, can I change Jake's diaper?"
Me- "If you want"
[Colin opens a diaper to find poo]
Colin- "Grossss, Sam! Can you clean it up?"Me-"hmph. You suck at life"[Explosion is properly disposed of]
Colin-"Can I put the new diaper on? Now, it's my time to shine"

Guess I got the shitty end of the stick, again! Oh, man, I love a good pun!

We also got to the pool, where we narrowly escaped attacks from a dragonfly that had its own shadow.
My kid's hiney is badass

No pictures of the man-eating dragonfly, though. We didn't want to anger it.

In all honesty, it's getting difficult to recall everything we did, so I'm callin' it. I have so much to tell you, though! I'm only throwing in the towel for the night...don't worry :-)

All in all, it was a great break from the norm!! Thanks for coming, C-money!