Saturday, September 18, 2010

Shut your mouth when you're talking to me

I uber dislike when the Army's all "Sure, you can go home on leave around that time! Have a great leave! :::hugs::: :::kisses:::"

So, I had an idea of when Gary would be on leave. Then, lo and behold, I got word that it was, most likely (<---key phrase), going to be sooner. "Yay!!!" I exclaimed in delight, as I fist pumped to the Heavens, and did the sprinkler.

So, I immediately started plotting this week's new course. I went grocery shopping on payday so that I'd be able to feed my husband no matter when he came in. I, practically, text 911 to my friend/hairdresser, Cristal, to see if we could get me in the day before my original appointment. I did the laundry, since my pretty clothes have to be ready. I washed diapers, so that I wouldn't have to worry about it once he got here.

Now? I'm pretty sure he's never coming.

Ever.

I'm thinking it's a husband mirage.


Or, wait....epiphany time. Maybe it's my fault. I should have left the house as is, not that I went crazy cleaning (y'all already know that one) but I did straighten up, dirty diapers in the hamper and only my "house clothes" available for wear. Then he would have been home about 15 seconds after we got word it might be sooner than we had originally thought.

Good, ol' Murph dawg at work.

Ya know, Murphy's Law.

I'm just glad I hadn't shaved yet. Let me tell you, if smooth legs had come into the equation in preparation for him being here, right after the diapers and grocery shopping, and it went for nothing? I think my head would have popped off.

Not that I run around like a yeti or something, but shaved legs, in this context, would have screamed to me he's close!!!! And, I would have been all awesome, my legs will have company!!

NO. DICE.

So, now I'm getting close to needing to wash diapers again, and my airport-outfit is still hanging on the bathroom door, taunting me. I suppose now the plan is to do nothing ahead of time; just go about things as normal. Perhaps Murph-dizzle will start swinging the other way, in my favor?!

Wait!

What am I doing?!

I'm getting all excited and optimistic again (which I like to refer to as my usual self). Eff. I've learned nothing! But, I can't help it. I just can't turn it off!

This is what I get for being all proactive. So, I'll sit here with my prickly legs, staring at my pretty outfit, letting diapers pile up just that little bit more. Until the phone rings. Then, it'll be anyone on planet Earth who is not my husband.

((did that speak to you, Murphy?? I really, really am thinking it'll just never happen. Go ahead. Show me otherwise. I dare you....))

So, until I hear to the contrary, Army? Go ahead and suck it.

4 comments:

Ethan & Clayden's mommy said...

Gracious lady! I have learned that the Army changes daily. I never believe that they are home until they call from the airport saying I'm here. I know that sounds bad but they are always changing and canceling crap at the last moment of time. Gary will be home soon, when you least expect it.

Erin said...

that really sucks that they are playing mind games with you!! BOOOOO!!!

Wendy said...

Sorry for the furry legs!

SoVeryDomestic said...

I'm late to this, but I'm glad I am because as I type this you guys are together! <3 I've been so wrapped up in moving I missed this whole situation. That Murphy sure is a nuisance!!