Tuesday, November 16, 2010

MILF status.

I was watching Kendra last night (hey, don't judge! It's not like I'm watching it to catch up on world events. I just think she's funny, and that her and her hubby are adorable together, and that her baby is way too cute...) and she was doing a radio interview over the phone.

Apparently the interviewer is very outspoken and he proceeded to tell her that because she's a mom she's now boring. This also coincided with her indecisiveness as to whether or not she'd pose for Playboy again. Did you see this episode?

She was pretty pissed at what the radio guy had to say. And, I have to say, I can so see where she's coming from. When you become a mama it doesn't mean you instantly start wearing the dreaded mom jeans, are only concerned with laundry, and never care to feel pretty again. Lord knows, I could be the next Mrs. Duggar and I still wouldn't touch mom jeans with a ten foot pole. It also doesn't mean I live to do laundry, and cook, and clean. Granted, I do love to cook, but it's not how I define myself.

Peeing on a stick that one fateful February afternoon did not instantly change who I am. Yes, Jake will always come first. That's how it should be when he's dependent on me for so many things. Totes. But, it doesn't mean I don't have my fun side. It doesn't mean I wouldn't go out every once and a while if I had the chance [thanks, deployment and lack of babysitters]. Gary and I still have life within us. As a matter of fact, we talk all the time how we thought we'd feel older than we do once we became parents. But, it's not the case. Your views may change, your priorities definitely better change, but it doesn't strip away a bubbly personality, or a wild streak that may run within you. I know our wild, and our bubbles, are still intact.

My supa fab' friend Christian told me once that I don't have the "new mom" look. I was so grateful to hear that! I think there's this preconceived notion that once that little one come out yo' baby maker, you're forever destined to have spit-up stained clothing, and rat's nest for hair. I'm not going to lie and say I haven't looked like that on more than one occasion (shit...we didn't go anywhere today, and I'm not looking my hottest now!), but I still take pride in my appearance. I still love to get ready. My shopping devotion hasn't wavered, just altered. Jake's needs always come before my getting ready routine, but, luckily, I haven't had to give them up.

Kendra basically wanted to prove something. She wanted to prove that you don't have to lose sex appeal once your name becomes mama, that you can still be fun and enjoy a good time. I feel the same and, sometimes, wonder if my friends that don't have kids think that you lose that luster once you do. It doesn't have to be true! Swearsies. Pop one out and I'll prove it.

I used to joke with Gary that since I was happily married, graduated college, and pregnant (at the time), my last goal in life was to be a MILF. Sometimes, I swear I'm so funny. Anyway, I didn't want to lose myself to motherhood, ya know? I can still outsmart the day to get my workout in, and strategically plan my shower so that I can spend a few extra minutes getting ready. I still have every intention of taking slutty fun Christmas pics for Gary. As long as these things don't impede my ability to be a good mama to our little tater tot there's no reason to let go of them. In my humble opinion, anywho.

Of course, I don't mean to imply that mamas should look their best always, or that all mamas even need to care (*I* just like to get ready, not all mamas feel this way, & it ain't no thang if that's the case...). It's simply not possible. Wait. Is it possible for anyone? I just mean in general. There's always that unforeseen bad day where you could go out in public in a potato sack and not give a rat's patootie who looks at you. In fact, you might even drop the hammer if someone gives you, and your potato sack, a questionable look. Don't worry, us mamas would have your back. Dropkick that Judgy McJudgerson!

After watching that episode, I felt like I needed to say something to defend mamahood! Even though aspects of life change when a wee babe enters the picture, you can still be you. Maybe not in the exact same context, but the line that Roland said to Joan on Army Wives when she was deciding whether or not to keep her baby seems to apply "it's just another person on your team"

With all the TV references, have I successfully convinced you that all I do is sit in front of the boob tube?

2 comments:

Wendy said...

Mommies still need to feel sexy! Hubby thinks I'm even better since becoming a mommy! Ha! In all honesty, I've never felt more like a woman!

Sure, pregnancy does a number on your body...but it does not define who you are!

At the end of the day, I'm still me. Sure I'm Caleb's mommy, but I'm so much more! Thank you for pointing this out to people!

Minivan Mama said...

I never knew such logic could come from watching Kendra. But I have to say, I'm still trying to drop the new mom look (and I'm not a new mom)If I could only figure out how to get my hair dry and dress three kids at the same time?!