Monday, November 1, 2010

Will I remember?

As I sat and watched Jake play in his room today, I thought about the way he moves, and the deliberation of his actions. I thought about how little he is, and how he looks back at me, with a smile, when he's done something he's particularly proud of. And, I wondered what I would remember.

Would I remember the little things that, now, I couldn't imagine forgetting? Will I remember how he hoards my Pampered Chef mixing spoons? Will I remember how we blow raspberries back and forth during meals? Will I remember the squeal he lets out when he sees me come to pick him up after a nap?

I know we had some pretty bad days last week, but they're already vanishing from my memory since he's feeling better. I know those things won't stick with me when we decide to have another baby, when he starts to grow into more of a little boy, rather than a toddler. But, I'm trying to make sure the little things that I wouldn't want to forget don't slip through, too.

I hope I never forget the cute way he pumps his legs so quickly when he thinks he's running from me, by holding the furniture. And, oh, the look on his face...priceless. I hope I always remember the way he looks at the phone every time I dial because, to him, it's always Daddy. I hope I remember how proud he is of himself, and the pride he looks for in my expression, when he recognizes something, as in "nom nom" is time to eat, and yellow is for Spongebob.

I know I'll never forget the way he makes me feel; how when I see him do all these little things that make my heart swell, I just can't get enough of him. That I'll keep with me, I'm sure of it. I just want to keep those little things, too.

Today, I thought about all those things, and looked at him. Really looked at him. This little guy grew in my belly. I just can't believe it. His blue eyes, his combover, his dimples, his hilarious sense of humor, how he's never met a stranger. That's been his packaged deal.

I watched how you can almost see his wheels turning when he'd decide how to move around the room by himself. I was in awe.

He's nothing short of a miracle.


Wendy said...

Your blog will help you remember...

I wonder the same thing at times. I try to catch the little things he does on short video clips. I don't want to forget any of it!

Jacquelyn said...

Oh this made me cry!

Whitney Hacker said...

I wondered the same thing when Ava was younger, and suprisingly i remember a LOT from when she was a baby and growing up to be a toddler, and i have a horrible memory. You will always remember these things in your heart!!! =)

Maytina said...

Take more videos than you ever think you'll need. You'll need them all! I remember everything my 10 year old did, but when I see videos I can remember it so much better. Oddly, after a few kids my husband and I will remember the expression or the phrase or the moment and forget which kid did it! Then we look it up on our family photo site and check! LOL