Thursday, April 28, 2011

I've taken it upon myself.

I swear I'll try to not talk about it anymore. It's just something that is still new, and incredibly fun, and makes me feel so good I could cuddle a baby leprechaun: zumba.

There is something these eyes saw last night that cannot be taken back, so I've decided I should lay down some ground rules. I mean, I joke and say that we (me and Annaleigh) have a few classes under our belts so clearly we're professional zumba'ers (that IS a technical term, btw), or moving the bod the way you do in a class like that must mean we're supa hawt, but I'm obviously kidding [because I still move like a white girl.]

[ok, but wait. People, in the class, are starting to ask us questions and look in our faces for comfort over the fact that it must be their first class and they're nervous. At least we don't look like it's obviously our first time....or that we're blind]

So, given the fact that we'll still, probably, always stand in the back of the class, claiming our territory right under the speaker--therefore threatening the loss of our hearing, so that we don't dare stand next to one of the Latin girls up front, whose body can move like they don't have a single bone, these rules are still muy importante....

Zumba Rules of Decorum:

1) Set an example.
If you're going to be at the front of the class, because you're rocking the house with your Zumba, get your shizz together. Listen, I'm relying on YOU! If you're at the front it's obviously because you've been a Zumba'er for a while, YOU NEED TO SET A GOOD EXAMPLE. This white girl (ME) watches you for what to do when our instructor is off gyrating in a space where I can't find her. Don't lead me astray.

2) WEAR A FREAKIN' BRA
There was a girl a few feet from me last night that was wearing one of those spaghetti strap tanks, with a shelf bra, and nothing else that would keep her from taking out an eye. That biatch must have lost her mind. She had tatas. She was at least a C. I'm sorry, but wrangle those bad boys for the safety of those around you. Thanks to all things Holy she was diagonal from me or else there would have been some serious safety concerns.

So, even though I may be a notch or two below the title of "Best Zumba'er", I feel I am still able to throw out some guidelines.

STRAP THOSE BABIES DOWN!

1 comment:

Daily Dose of Dahl said...

Excellent rule! So excited that your love Zumba!

May I also suggest these additional rules:

in really crowded Zumba classes, please do not take up 3x the space eveyone else does because you flail about like a windmill. Everyone there wants to have a good workout, and if everyone around you is worried about bodily injury because you are determined to take up the space of 3 people, it kinda ruins it for the rest of us. Plus, we need some space too.

If you have gas, no matter what your skill level, please put yourself where your expulsions will do the least damage, ie not in the front or the middle.

If I can tell whether or not you've been 'groomed' in the southern regions lately, your clothes are too small.

Water bottles to the side of the class, please. Leaving them in the middle of the floor is asking for trouble.