Tuesday, May 29, 2012

16 weeks!

Um, hai....holy crap.

It's blowing my impregnated mind that I'm 4 months pregnant. FOUR. MONTHS. And, I'm loving every life-growing moment of it :-)

Look at me....all makin' people and everything...



How far along? 16 weeks


Weight gain: 1 lb


Maternity Clothes? Not necessary yet. I went shopping for maternity clothes a few weeks ago (I can't find my maternity clothes from last pregnancy :-( I think they were lost in the move, which blows because I had such cute pieces!) and got a pair of maternity gaucho pants to wear around the house. So, I wear those from time-to-time.


Stretch Marks? None new. But, TIP! I got Alba Botanical Cocoa Butter Hand & Body Lotion for the belly and boobies. WORKS AMAZINGLY. I've been blessed to have subtle stretch marks that you can really only see because I'm so fair-skinned, but as my belly started to poke out more they became more apparent. And, my face turned sad. So, I got this lotion and there's, literally, no way this is a placebo effect! It's that obvious! Even as my belly is, obviously, growing more, the stretchies are barely visible!! I, officially, swear by this stuff!


Sleep: I love sleep SO HARD. I'm having trippy dreams, but also sleeping like the dead. I'm OK with that.


Best Moment of the Week: Feeling baby's first little nudges and getting to hear baby's heartbeat again :-)


Miss Anything? My ass NOT sweating during workouts. This wasn't an affliction of my first pregnancy and I'm not a fan of it this time around! I wish the excess pregnant-workout-sweat would stick to my forehead! The after-effects of ass-sweat are not so cute. Or comfortable...
Oh, and sushi! As in, I want to push this baby out then have a roll immediately shoved down my gullet.


Movement? Around 13-14 weeks I started feeling little thumps, but they were never unquestionably baby....until yesterday!!! WHILE I was skyping with Gary for the first time! That's about as lifechanging-awesome as if a unicorn blew me a kiss from a rainbow over Trader Joe's.


Food Cravings? Still more distinct flavors, as in salsa, hummus (homemade is bombdotcom, check the recipes tab!), & sharp cheddar cheese. Oh, and Subway sandwiches. But, by far, my favorite thing in this vast cosmos right now is my dinner: fresh spinach salad with peppercorn ranch dressing. Sooo good, great on Vitamin C & fiber, & :: ahem :: keeping things moving. And, a bowlful is only 164 delicious calories!!


Food Aversions? Surprisingly, junk food. I love my fresh, healthy foods so much that it squashes my desire for french fries. Almost always.....


Sex: Not finding out this time either :-)


Labor Signs? Negatory, morning glory.


Belly Button, in or out? In


Wedding rings, on or off? On


Looking forward to: My belly getting big enough to see baby move from the outside!


Weekly Wisdom: Gaucho pants are ugly as sin, but as comfortable as if they were made of puppies. Buy some, but don't wear them outside your house. Seriously, don't.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Misconceptions.

We're coming up on two weeks of the husband being gone.

And, it has been interesting to say the least.


The Sunday before Gary left, aka Mother's Day, I got violently sick. It was the worst feeling. It's the kind of sick where you forget what it feels like to feel well and are sure you will never get the opportunity to be reminded again. EVER.

My mom  had come into town the night before, to help out and see Gary before he left, and I have no clue what we would have done without her.

So, Sunday morning, we're at church. I had been fighting nausea, but that sometimes happens when I have to get ready on a less leisurely pace. We get to church and the nausea is coming in waves...until the two separate occasions I had to run out of the service to go worship the porcelain throne.

I thought, "Wow, very latent morning sickness, you're a bitch" Of course, I was in church so I modified that to "biatch"

Gary came in the ladies' room with me and was rubbing my back, as I got to see what my insides looked like, until the service was over and I thought, for sure, it was out of my system.

Wrong.

I spent the entire day in a right angle position. And, it was only made better by the fact that, apparently, that wasn't very latent morning sickness; it was a bug that got passed to everyone in our house, Gary & Jake simultaneously--which was loads of fun, the last days that my husband would be on U.S. soil for a year'ish.

It was the worst sickness this family has, literally, ever seen. Details omitted for the faint of heart, but I will say that there was somewhere between 30-40 loads of laundry done in 6-7 days.

There's so much more that goes into deployment than missing your husband. Although, that is a big, fat chunk of it. It's painful to think about going to bed alone or a long weekend (like, I don't know, this one....) spent apart. But, it's also when your kid, normally relatively even keel and very close to you, completely spazzes out. You should've seen the looks this boy was giving me. The kid? He wanted to fight me. And, all I wanted to do was fully absorb that we're doing this shizz for a 4th time in 7 years.

I asked my mom why certain family members, whom I thought would offer some sort of condolence, were completely ignoring our family and she offered that people think I'm so strong so they just stay away.

Let me clear this up---not I, or any of my military spouse friends, want a pity party or to be treated as if she's going to break. But, not a single person on the planet is able to be strong constantly. And, to assume that is pretty ridiculous. I'm pretty positive the majority of the time, but sometimes it, literally, hits you completely out of the blue. There have been times I've been cooking dinner and just start crying at the stove. I had thought I was doing just fine, but, apparently, I wasn't. Then, hearing me, Jake comes in asking, "Mama? Mama?" And, then gives me a hug which makes me cry more.

I dropped Jake off at hourly care last week for 3 hours of me. A pedicure and baby-blanket-fabric-shopping was on the agenda. Anything to let me just get out and get a breath of fresh air, which I needed after the nasty week in our house.

I drop Jake off and am making small talk with Miss Sam. I let her know that the day before, at Sunday School, Jake had a minor freak out. Apparently he fell and one of the aids in the room tried to help him up and he just started wailing. COMPLETELY unlike him. If he's ever uncomfortable he becomes a little introverted. This is the complete opposite of his super social, happy self. But, I let her know that he's still adjusting to his daddy being gone so that'll be the cause if there's any out-of-character moments for him.

She acknowledges and then asks, "How are YOU?"

She probably had no clue what that question meant to me.

The tears welled in my eyes. It meant more to me than she'll probably ever know for someone to ask how I was feeling and to really want to know the answer.

You see, it might be SOP for a military family to go through things like deployments, but it never gets easier. It doesn't get easier to put your own feelings aside because you need to plaster the smile on your face for your kid(s). It doesn't get easier to have sad feelings attack you out of nowhere. It doesn't get easier to celebrate holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries geographically separately.

So, while you may think someone, anyone--not just military-related, is strong and fine, it never hurts to acknowledge them. It's not easy to feel like you need to be strong for everyone else.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Triple Eff!

Finally, a foodie post!

So, let's talk about the pregnant belly, yes?

Most days I look like this--->


 Little bit of belly-pokeage, but nowhere near where I had anticipated I'd be when knocking on second trimester's door with a second pregnancy.

Then, other days...whoa, mama

In all fairness to my wee babe, I think it was the combo of the wide belt and maxi dress that gave the illusion that I'm halfway through the pregnancy, but still!! These times are wayyy fewer and further between, though. When  do I get that adorable little bowling ball sitting in my lower belly??

Onward and upward!

This meal was so, so good! And, even easier than it was tasty!

I try to do one "fun" meal when planning my dinner menu and this one was such a winna!

I didn't cover it in pepperoni on the first layer because I just kept thinking that a regular pizza doesn't have a pepperoni covering every square inch! But, then I realized, "when the eff am I ever going to use the rest of the pepperoni in the bag??"---->



 I forgot to get a picture of it plated, so this is in the leftover pyrex. It looks like a gnarly mess, but it was delish!

Amazeballs.


I'm not the hugest fan that the recipe called to coat the bottom of the pan with butter, but, like always, I do as I'm told first and then modify later. I wonder what to use next time to coat the pan, but not modify the flavor??






 NOMS.

And, perfect little servings, too!

Homemade Pasta!!!
Months ago, I bought a 20 lb bag of flour from Sam's Club for $6-$7. Believe me, for us that makes uber sense!
So, I only go grocery shopping twice a month and last trip was a stock-up trip. I needed stuff like toilet paper, and baking ingredients...the kind of stuff that adds up! So, I decided one of the ways I cut corners was I decided to save the $1.50 on boxes of pasta and make my own.

You guys.

It is so easy. So easy. And, there's like 6 ingredients in it. You can tell a difference; there's a fresher taste to it.





I was nervous when cutting up the dough because I wasn't sure how flimsy it'd be, so the spaghetti turned out more like linguini, but can't say anyone around here cared! Plus, I plan to keep making it (you can make & store it up to 8 months...which will come in super handy when I prep stuff for baby's arrival!)


The camera and I have been in a duel lately. I can either take pictures that leave me thinking I should've majored in photography, or leave me thinking that my toddler could muster up a better photograph than I could. 

Whatever.

Brown Sugar Cinnamon Muffins
If we're friends on facebook, you know the upcoming deployment is starting to sink in and I'm mentally fighting that like a skilled Jedi. Hence the muffins. I bake for people to distract myself. And, shop. Both of these happened this week.

Turns out, reading the recipe's directions with a toddler around isn't always the most thorough endeavor so I made these wrong. But, they still taste like a party in my mouth.


I think I'm actually making more of these today!

Distractions + me = appropriate placed head in the sand....


Tuesday, May 8, 2012

VBAC, yo.

At my second prenatal appointment, with the supa-fab' midwife, we discussed if I was going to try for the VBAC, or if I'd like her to go ahead and schedule another c-section at 39 weeks.

My intention since having Jake was to VBAC it up. Au naturale, at that.

She said that my prenatal care would vary in that I'd have different "counselling" sessions mid-pregnancy to prepare me for what another c-section would be like, or what a VBAC would entail.

You may, or may not, have gathered that I have a tendency for the hippie-esque. I prefer to make my own stuff, whether it be food or cleaning products, because I enjoy the self-reliance, the cheapness, and to keep things natural. I keep the same ideals about myself. I practice yoga for the benefits to mind and body; I enjoy a good sweat because it's a free therapy session; I even meditated for the first time last week because I felt very antsy and needed to relax (pee ess, HIGHLY recommend it. I felt INCREDIBLE afterward!). So, my desire for the au naturale VBAC is that I feel that my body was built to do this and I am more than capable of doing so.

The thing in the not-so-back of our minds is the possibility of preeclampsia making a comeback. Because of the preeclampsia, I was induced, and had J at 38 weeks because the combo of the protein in my urine reaching a certain level and being full-term was enough for my OB to go ahead and call it, and I trusted her judgment completely.

Everyone and their mama in my care team assured me the preeclampsia was completely out of my hands. There's not a thing I could've done differently; I was just the lucky (HA!) one. So, I'm doing my part with staying healthy, working out 4-5 days a week, and eating really right, like uber right, but we're in the process of deciding if that's enough.

One thing our midwife brought up was that with a VBAC there's a possibility of rupture to the uterus, which would result in an emergency c-section. Kind of the opposite of what I'm going for, no? As far as we know, that wouldn't impact future pregnancies (we're thinking we'll have 3!), but the idea of emergency anything doesn't exactly rub me in the right places.

Apparently, that's not a common occurrence, though? But, I don't know enough about it to be deterred. And, ya know how you can google 'headache' and find out that you're actually dying of a disease from a third world country you've never been to? Hence my lack of knowledge on the topic, until my next appointment at least!

I'm not cynical enough to not follow, and/or believe in, my gut instincts so I'd like to believe that this pregnancy is going to go on just fine. I just didn't realize what a process a VBAC was!

Even though I'm doing everything I can on my end to ensure I'm as healthy as can be, and as prepared for the possible-vaginal delivery (even considering hiring a doula!) as I can be, a healthy, happy baby is job one. And, I'm uber thankful the midwives and I seem to be in complete agreement as far as letting my body do what it will.

But, I guess, if I end up with another c-section it'll be ok because the lady bits will remain intact ;-)

Friday, May 4, 2012

Babies don't keep.

Everyone thinks Jake is at least 3, because of how tall he is, so we get a lot of questions about whether or not we're potty training. We're not yet. We've bought ourselves time with getting knocked up again!

A lot of people have opinions and a lot of people think they need to force them on others. Whether it be in the blog-world or real life, you'll find people like this. I strive to never come across like this. Of course we have ideas, and beliefs, and opinions, but they're our own. And, chances are, you have all those, too. No reason we can't coexist ;-)

I say this because the decisions we're making aren't a passive-aggressive commentary on anyone else's choices. To each their own, brotha!

But, in getting pregnant and thinking about the new, tiny person I'm growing, I've also started seeing Jake in a new way. I've realized that he's still a little guy, too. He still deserves to grow and thrive on his own time.

So, if I hadn't gotten pregnant before Gary deployed, I had definitely considered getting the potty training going. It just seemed about that time, right?? But, I've really started to see that he's not going to be a little guy much longer. There's really no reason to rush him. I vow that he'll be potty trained by the time baby arrives, because he will be just older than 3, but he has his whole life. No need to happen this very second :-)

Kind of the same mentality with the toddler bed. He's still in his crib because he's only tried to climb out once that I know of. Otherwise, he's a jumper. That's actually how we know he's awake in the morning; we hear him getting serious air and squealing with too much excitement! But, we haven't transferred to the toddler bed because it just doesn't feel right, yet. Not that we're trying to keep him little in how we treat him; we're just trying to let things happen naturally. Because, babies: they don't keep.

He has his whole life to be in a regular bed and to use the big-boy potty, but I want to let it happen organically to us. He's soon going to be this big brother, who's not the freshest one in the house anymore. He's showing us more and more that he's getting ready to use his potty. He tries to get us to take his diaper off when it's wet; he points to his diaper when there's a deuce. But, only shows interest in his potty chair  if he's taking it apart.

There's going to be so much change coming up. He's at the age where's he's going to be very aware when Gary leaves again, which throws a big stick in our daily spokes. Then the new baby's going to be here. All this just makes me realize my first baby isn't going to stay small forever. We're coming up on a time where he won't want to cuddle on the couch with me, or run to the door when he hears his daddy come home, or give out so many kisses.

We'll get there. There's no way around it. I just want him to let us know when he's ready for the big boy bed and tiny little undies. After all,

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.



April 2011

April 2012

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Toddlers trip me out.

For a few weeks Jake was getting up really early. OK, well some mamas will hate me for saying so, but by "really early" I mean around 6 am. Anyway, it meant that if we were to go anywhere before naptime, he gets verryy sleepy, if not completely falls asleep in his car seat.

Well, one morning  he had gotten up early, but it was Kindermusik day so I prepped myself for mild crankiness but was getting ready to drive on.

Mistake.

That little kid was such a shit during Kindermusik we left early. And, lemme say, that speaks volumes for us.

I put the phone in my lap, put it on speaker and cried to Gary the whole way home. That kid just worked me with a capital W-O-R-K-E-D. I was patient, too. So patient. Disgustingly patient. But, the entire hour of class he beat the mental h-e double hockey sticks out of me. It was like here, be understanding, be calm, speak to him logically, but then get kicked in the crotch. Repeatedly.

I mean, it was like all I had to do was cut the blue wire and all he had was red wires.

Effed.

We get home, I soak Gary's shirt with my sadface, and Gary handles snack and nap so that I could hang onto the last shred of my sanity, which was definitely hanging by the tiniest of threads.

Gary suggests I go out shopping, or see a movie, or look at baby clothes. Anything that I wanted. But, all I needed was to go out and get groceries and regain my clarity.

I get home, fairly refreshed and the boy wakes up. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't walking on egg shells, anticipating more Hell on Earth. But, he was the sweetest, most loving, playful kid on the planet.

But, that's parenthood. Sometimes you look at your kid wondering, "Dafuq did I get myself into??"

And, other times, most times, you're in awe and wonder, and even inspired, by how amazing your tiny person is and how much you love them.

The moments like these get me through:

*We put him down for bed at night, he sits up in his crib, and returns my, "Love you, bud. See you in the morning" with "Love you". Then, I tear-up and kiss him eight more times.

*We head out for our morning workout with the jogger and as I'm wiping the sweat from my forehead and making sure to stay hydrated (because, lemme say this altitude is no joke!), Jake leans back under the shade of his stroller, grips his ice-cold sippy and the two toys he brought with him, and exhales as he says, "Ohhh, yeahhhh"

*We bought our new bambino's car seat and it was sitting in the seat to left of his car seat and I ask, "Is that for the new baby?" And, he exclaims, "Baby! Baby! Baby! BABY!" He's going to be the best big brother <3

*He's sitting on the kitchen floor, playing with magnets as I get breakfast ready when Gary asks him, "Do you think you're getting a baby brother or baby sister?" "Baby DISTER!" I kiss him another 8 times.

*He's started counting anything and everything. He appreciates a good pattern, but I melt when I hear him count his toys with "un, two, tree". Boy genius ;-)

*When we're eating dinner, he stops, reaches for my arm, pulls me close, and wraps his arms around my necks for a hug. He should ask for a pony because, in that moment, he could close that deal.

So, to my many, MANY mama-friends who are having first-time babies this year, know it'll get hard. It's inevitable. But, those times are far outweighed by the good :-)

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

12 weeks.


Our Bambino!

 Littlest's heartbeat was in the 170s (time to hit up those Old Wives' Tales!) and due date was pushed back two days to November 14th :-)
This midwife that handled the appointment was absolutely tied-up-with-a-bow perfect. She had a great sense of humor and was totally sweet.  I'd love to see her every single appointment of this pregnancy, but I'm going to make the rounds to all the midwives so I can meet them all because we won't be guaranteed one midwife on baby's birth day. Very, VERY happy with the experience at this hospital so far!!

How far along? 12 weeks
Weight gain: down 2 lbs from pre-pregnancy weight.
Maternity Clothes? Not yet. But, I'm in the awkward period where some of my regular clothes feel so weird, but maternity clothes are way too big. BUT, I am considering getting a pair of maternity lounge pants to wear around the casa just so I can be the mayor of Comfort Town.
Stretch Marks? None new.
Sleep: Fickle. I can either sleep all day every day for the rest of time, or fall asleep around 8:30 and up the next day around 4:30am. And, secret scenario #3 is that I cannot function in the late afternoon. But, the super fun part is, during those afternoons, that when I lay on my back on the couch, my chin can rest on the boulders in my shirt. Those times are fewer and further in between, though; first trimester's almost over!!!
Oh, and big, HUGE thanks to the husband who picks up my slack when I'm the walking dead.
Best moment of the week: Getting the surprise ultrasound last week!!! We thought we were only getting to hear baby's heartbeat via the doppler, so it was such a great surprise :-) But, my absolute favorite part was that Gary was at my appointment with me. He's going to miss much of the pregnancy so being able to hold hands while we watched our baby dance around meant that much more.
Miss anything? Can't say that ah do! Definitely happy my body has, for the most part, adjusted to the hormones and my hair isn't fighting me all the time!
Movement? I swear I have felt thumps, but I know baby's too small.
Food cravings? I still love bagels with my whole heart. But, I'm also really into stronger, or more distinct, flavors: caesar dressing (make without the yogurt and oregano and it's a dream for my taste buds), salsa, green bell peppers....get in my mouth! Oh, and spinach salads with the caesar dresssing. Fughetaboutit. Oh, and don't knock it 'til you try it, but I was looking for a way to get tomatoes into my day, for the vitamin C, so I put 2 slices into a grilled cheese sandwich. ::: dies :::
Food aversions? I wouldn't say there's anything specific; just times where food grosses me out as a whole.
Sex: Don't know and are not finding out this time either! I swear we're having a girl, though :-) And, a lot of my friends are displeased that we're not finding out....sincerest apologies :-)
Labor signs? Nope.
Belly button, in or out? In, and hope it stays in this time, too.
Wedding rings, on or off? On.
Looking forward to: Movement!!!!!!!
 Weekly Wisdom: Just because my prenatally-plumped boobies look delish doesn't mean I enjoy the staring. My eyes are about 8 inches north, thankyouverymuch.