Wednesday, October 3, 2012

It's starting to hit me.

From the time we started trying for numero dos through the past 8 months of this pregnancy, I've never once worried about how Jake would react to not only being an older brother but to no longer being an only child. It's never struck me as something to spend a whole lot of time on for our specific situation.

We're kind of a roll-with-the-punches type family. And, Jake is definitely that kind of kid. Not saying it'll always be perfect, or we won't have our moments of spazziness while we're getting adjusted to being a family of four, but I definitely don't think it's something, for us, to be a source of real worry.

Instead, I'm going the other way. I'm the one developing an obsession with how our tiny man might feel. It's starting to hit me that it'll not longer be mama and boy: the couple.

I get all weepy just wanting him to know that no matter how many babies we have (Gary said something about 3 or 4 a couple weeks ago...how sexy is a man who wants lots of babies with you?!), he will always be my firstborn; he will always be the one who launched me into motherhood; he will always be beyond special to me.

I've planned special things for him that I hope he gets as much a kick out of as I do. I've always loved birthdays, but it became of unbelievable importance for him to feel so celebrated and loved this year; I'm so looking forward to our upcoming trip to the pumpkin patch--complete with pony rides, and food, and face paint; I can't wait to dress him up for Halloween and watch his little face light up at Boo at the Zoo again. I just want him to know that he's still so important to us.

Gary and I have talked about making sure to take each of our kids out for their own special solo dates with mama and the same for daddy. And, while that won't be possible while he's deployed, I seriously intend on taking tiny parts of everyday and making them special for me and him. Even though our regularly scheduled programming will be thrown off with breastfeeding and tiny diaper changes (EEEE!!!!!), I really hope we can still have those post-bath, pre-bed moments where I get to smell that clean-goodness of a toddler while we rock in the rocker and he rests his head on my chest before leaning up to give me his squishy, wet kiss. Definitely some of my favorite things of all time.

So, while I'm sure our big boy will handle this beautifully life-changing thing relatively well, I just want him to know I love him to the tiniest of pieces.

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